Tastes Like Nostalgia [Lucifer/Anna, OMC/Anna, Dean/Anna, Castiel/Anna - 1/2]

[hysteria]

Title: Tastes Like Nostalgia [1/2]
Author: hysteria
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Lucifer/Anna, OMC/Anna, Dean/Anna, Castiel/Anna, Richard Milton, Amy Milton, Sam Winchester, Ruby, Uriel
Word Count: 2,122
Warnings: Dub/Non-Con, Extreme Underage, DarkDark Themes [Non-Graphic until Part 2]
Summary: [AU? Sort of, It’s uh, complicated.] Lucifer has always been around, even if he can’t be in his true form, just like Anna.
Beta: Bridget, and gave me I'd say almost all of the background information that is canon for Anna, plus she edited/practically co-wrote this with me; deserves super love♥
Disclaimer: Don’t own Supernatural, or the characters.


Author’s Note: Written for a plot bunny by Kristin and it got way, way out of hand. Back story is completely fictional and made-up because Kripke never alludes to anything. The only thing I know for sure is that she was born in 1985 (because there is some serious math fail on her real birthday i'm going with April 13th) and she's from Northwest Ohio, rest is fanfiction. Also: all of this speculation at the end/middle is just that, I have no idea about how Lucifer is/was/will be. So, in current time line her body is 24 years of age as of this year according to canon.




October 28th, 1987 - Toledo, Ohio

They’re not sure why it starts, she’s throwing things at her father and it takes both of them to hold her down. She wakes up screaming in cold sweats and the only thing the doctors can tell them is that it could’ve sprouted from an irregular sleeping pattern. When she claws her fathers face so badly he needs stitches they finally break and take her to psychiatrist, the first in their family to go and Richard and Amy can’t help but feel tossed aside from the religious community; his sermons getting less and less attendants each day.

They allow Amy to sit in during the first session, but Richard stays outside afraid that his being there could cause another fit. “Why do you think your father is going to kill you Anna?”

“He’s angry with me,” small fingers digging into her thighs “very angry.” the skin’s gone white and the doctor can’t help but wonder when she’s going to break skin.

“Why do you think that?”

“I disobeyed,” she says “he’s so angry.”

Dr. Jenkins isn’t sure if his saying anything will help, given her current state so he pulls Amy aside “Her vocabulary is…tremendous for her age--”

“We taught her early,” he can tells she’s lying but just nods “she was a quick learner.”

“Has anything happened recently, anything traumatic, to any of you?”

“What do you mean?” she asks, watching his pen scribble across the paper “I thought we were here about Anna.”

“Many things can effect a child’s state of mind, seeing as this is mainly focused on her father perhaps if I spoke with him, he could tell me something more.” There’s something hanging on the end of his tongue, an accusation that goes unsaid and weighs heavy in the room.

“He’s never touched her,” it comes out before she can stop it “we’re done here.”

She can feel his hand grip her arm and she yanks free, “She is just two and half years old” she hissed, trying to keep her voice quiet “the idea that you’d even accuse, even think--”

“That’s not the only thing that could cause this--” he says, trying to reason with her, but she’s already back in the main room leaving with her daughter in tow. The confused voice of Anna’s father heard over the hum of the air conditioner, ‘It was over that quick?’ He can’t hear the rest. It’s the last time Anna sees a psychiatrist for over three years.

April 27th, 1991 - Toledo, Ohio

By the time she’s six she still has fits every once in a while, waking up in tears and shoving her dad away; telling him he’s not hear real father, her real father is going to kill her. Richard finally breaks and allows the chair of his church to hire another pastor, a young man by the name of David Marks-- barely 23 and he’s got all the women in their little community swooning. He invites David over for dinner with his family, because it’s all in good posture, and David could be the saving grace the family needed, so they could fix Anna.

Richard lets Anna answer the door, a rather quiet night for once and she smiles at him. He thinks it’s the first time he’s seen her take to someone so quickly since she was born. The dinner goes smoothly, David talks about college and the different churches he’d been working for before visiting Richard’s small congregation. “So are you thinking about settling down anytime soon David?” Amy smiles at him, hand intertwined in Richard's.

“Maybe,” he laughs, “I haven’t thought too much about it yet, I’d like to figure out my own life before I bring someone else into it.”

“That’s a good plan,” she says “we waited for Anna, and she came, like a miracle just when we needed her most. She saved our marriage.” She squeezes his hand tighter looking up at Anna sitting across from her, beside David. They don’t notice when David’s hand slips into Anna’s lap, rubbing against her leg and Anna doesn't say anything, just watches the way her mom looks at her dad like she hasn’t seen him in years before keeping her eyes trained on her plate.

When he leaves, he leans down on one knee and gives her a hug, arms wrapped around her small body and tells her he’ll see her at church in the morning, says his goodbyes to her parents and leaves.

She isn’t alone with him again for two months; her parents feel like she’s getting better, less nightmares, more sleep and David offers to baby-sit. It’s subtle at first, she’s sitting on his lap towards the end of the night watching some movie she knows her parents wouldn’t let her watch, people touching all over and the noises they're making are like nothing she’s ever heard before. He lies her down on the couch and walks to the bathroom, gone for almost the entire length of the rest of the movie before he comes back, taking the movie out, putting it back in his bag before the door unlocks and her parents walk in smiling.

“Did you have fun Anna?” her mom asks, practically glowing-- and she doesn’t need to be grown-up to see how happy her mom is, not having to watch her every second.

“Lots mom,” she smiles, “it was great.”

She can hear her parents talking about taking a vacation and it doesn’t sound like they want to wait for summer. She’s only in the first grade but she’s pretty sure they won’t pull her out of school.

May 12th, 1991 - Toledo Ohio

She’s waving goodbye to her parents as they pass through the gates at the airport, hand grasped tightly in David’s. Maybe if she cries, her parents will just think she's sad they're going, but she isn't and she doesn't.

They watch more of the movies she doesn't understand yet. She knows they’re having sex now, she’s just not sure why they’re watching them. He puts her to bed on time but doesn't say anything about the movie. He kisses her cheek instead of giving her a hug this time and she’s not sure why but it doesn’t feel the same as when her dad does it.

The second night when she gets home from her after school activities there’s another movie on and David isn’t wearing pants, erection visible through his boxers when she walks into the living room and sets her bag down. “Your dinner’s on the bar,” he says, not looking away, “watch the movie from there.” She doesn't think he’s giving her a choice. She’s going to watch it whether she wants to or not.

She tries to take her time, but he looks back at her as if willing her to hurry. When she sits next to him, the boxers are gone and his stomach is covered in white. When he sees her looking, he touches her hand, “You can touch it,” he says “it’s just wet.” It feels warm and sticky and when she tries to pull back he holds her hand there, flush against his stomach, when she struggles, he lets go and her hand lingers before she pulls it back to her lap. When he gets up again he’s in the bathroom for the remainder of the movie just like before and this time when he puts her to bed he kisses her on the lips like her mom, and it doesn’t feel weird anymore.

It’s like a routine from then on, the movies, the touching, the kissing and the night her parents come home he sticks his tongue in her mouth and rubs it against her teeth; the door bell rings and he nearly flings her to the side, away from him. It’s the first time he’s been fully clothed in the week he’s been watching her and her father hugs him like he’s family. She isn’t sure why it happens, but David never comes back-- her dad says he found a wife and moved away, and when she cries he tells her that David will come back someday and visit, but she just cries harder.

The nightmares start up again two weeks later and she breaks her dad’s nose when she pushes him down the stairs. Her father suggests taking her back to a psychiatrist and she declines. The second time she pushes him, he breaks his collar bone. Amy takes her to a different hospital this time, a female doctor, someone who would understand, but this time's not much different.

“Why would you think your father would want to harm you?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Nothing?”

“No.”

“How old are you Anna?”

“Almost seven.” and Anna’s crossing her legs just like Dr. Farmer, like a woman.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” she asks, watching the way Anna fidgets with the hem of her dress.

“No.” Anna says quickly, hand moving from her dress back to her sides.

“Do you ever think about boys?”

“No.”

Dr. Farmer keeps writing and looks back up at her, “Has your dad ever kissed you?”

“Yes,” she says “all the time.”

“Does it ever make you uncomfortable?”

“Sometimes.”

“Why?”

“Adults kiss each other.”

“That’s different though,” she can feel Anna’s eyes on her when she sets the notebook down “the relationship is different.”

“Why?”

“Different levels of intimacy, it’s a different kind of love.” Dr. Farmer gauges Anna's reaction, watching the way her hands never stop moving.

“I don’t understand,” and before Dr. Farmer can say anything she asks for her father “can I see him please?” she asks, and the doctor lets her leave the room.

When Mrs. Milton comes in she doesn’t expect the best reaction, but she doesn’t expect what she gets “They think it’s about seduction,” she says, “but in reality it’s all about domination, power--” when Amy slaps her it doesn’t register at first, she just stares in shock.

“My husband is a good man.” Her fists clench, “A pastor. He would never…” She walks away before finishing; Richard and Anna following close behind.

Anna pretends she doesn’t have the nightmares anymore, and they eventually go away again.

September 17th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio

Her mother cried when she suggested getting a dorm five years ago, and her father looked proud of her when she suggested staying home on the weekends; eventually she just comes home every other weekend, and then just one weekend a month. She's surprised when she comes home for the weekend of her father’s birthday and David is visiting. For the first time in seventeen years she’s scared to go in her own home. When he hugs her all she can think about is everything they used to do together, how alone he made her feel.

“How’s school going Anna?” he smiles, toying with the gold band on his finger.

“Fine, It’s different being away from home.”

“But fun of course?” he laughs.

“Of course,” she smiles, “lots of fun.” and she sounds just like she did all those years ago, even she can tell.

“It’s been so long.” He says, and as weird as it is, he still doesn't sound like he used to. “Missed you.”

She nods. Her parents smile and ask him about where he’s been, and how his family is-- treating him just as the used to.

The rest of the night is a blur. David is staying in the room next to her; she doesn’t even think about when he crawls into her bed, because she’s not six anymore, but she still doesn't stop him.

“Anna,” he mumbles, his lips on her neck, “why don’t you remember me?”

“I do,” she says, “all the time.”

“Then why won’t you say my name?” he asks, teeth pulling at her skin “Are you ashamed?”

“David,” her nails digging into the sheets. “David.”

It sounds like a growl and she can feel the teeth puncture her skin, nearly screaming before his hand covers her mouth. “I’ll make you remember,” he hisses. “You’ll remember everything.”

She doesn’t understand why he says it, tongue lapping at the blood on her neck while his hands are shoving at her underwear. Slipping inside her like it’s home. “You’ll remember me,” he says, pulling out and slamming back in. “What we were, what we had.”

“I was six,” she says hands stilling digging at the sheets, “I remember.”

“You weren’t,” he groans, letting go inside her, “you don’t.”

He doesn’t say anything when he pulls out of her, warmth pooling between her thighs; pulling her covers back over her like he used to when she was younger, “But you will.”




All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream
of drowning in the ocean;
longing for the shore
where I can lay my head down.