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hysteriaTitle: Tastes Like Nostalgia [2/2]
Author:hysteria
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Lucifer/Anna, OMC/Anna, Dean/Anna, Castiel/Anna, Richard Milton, Amy Milton, Sam Winchester, Ruby, Uriel, Pamela
Word Count: 3,167
Warnings: Dub/Non-Con, Extreme Underage, DarkDark Themes [Non-Graphic until Part 2], Part 2 is Un-beta'd (if you'd like to beta, drop a line yo~)
Summary: [AU? Sort of, It’s uh, complicated.] Lucifer has always been around, even if he can’t be in his true form, just like Anna.
Disclaimer: Don’t own Supernatural, or the characters.
Author’s Note: Written for a plot bunny bymorlockiness and it got way, way out of hand. Back story is completely fictional and made-up because Kripke never alludes to anything. The only thing I know for sure is that she was born in 1985 (because there is some serious math fail on her real birthday i'm going with April 13th) and she's from Northwest Ohio, rest is fanfiction. Also: all of this speculation at the end/middle is just that, I have no idea about how Lucifer is/was/will be. So, in current time line her body is 24 years of age as of this year according to canon. I also didn't follow the dialogue exactly to the 'T' from the episodes following Anna's reveal, I have time on my hands but not enough to go through every line of script, bare with me.
Back to Part 1
September 18th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio
He’s not in her bed when she wakes up, there’s blood caked around her neck and in her hair-- blending with the dark sheets, ‘You’ll remember me, what we were, what we had.’ she isn’t surprised she can’t make it to the bathroom, coating the carpet with bile, she’d cry it if weren’t so ironic.
It’s nearly seven in the morning and her parents aren’t awake, the entire house is so quiet you could hear a pin drop; but thing is it’s Thursday morning and her father is supposed to be getting up already, he’s supposed to be going to work. She doesn’t clean up, moving around the spot on the carpet, she drags herself to the door and slips on a robe over her ruined clothes, pulling it tightly to her bloodied neck.
She sees the note before she makes it to the table, white paper contrasting on the wooden oak:
Your mother and I left early to church; Dave has to leave later today, be sure to see him off.
-Dad
She considered what exactly she thought she was going to find when she made her way down the stairs this morning, dead bodies? She doesn’t really think about it, because there’s an unmistakable sound from the upstairs, the old floor in the guest bedroom creaking, followed by padded footsteps making their way down the stairs. Her body is tense and she wants to lie; say she needs to do something for school today, meet her parents at church, anything. Though by the time he’s down the steps standing in front of the kitchen doorway she’s crumpling the paper up in her hand and the words have died in her throat, watching the smile tug at his lips like she’d seen so many times before.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Not long,” she whispers, watching the way his teeth tug at his lips when he’s watching her, like he’s waiting for her to try something “ten minutes.”
“Why did you wake me?” she’d back up to the table if she wasn’t already perched against it “I could’ve kept you company, like old times.” He moves so close so quickly she doesn’t even register his breath on her cheek until she feels his lips “I remember how you hated being alone, when you were young.”
“I liked being alone,” it slips out before she thinks about the consequences “I just--”
“Not then,” he mumbles, soft hands on her hips “before, before all this.” He bites at her skin until her hand warps around his neck, willing him down further “When you loved me,” she could barely hear him when he’d reached above her breasts, licking at the bruises he’d left the night before “when we had our grace.”
She’d ask what he’s talking about, if she thought he’d actually give an answer “Dad’ll be--”
“Gone.” he says, his hands pull at her shirt until it’s slips off her head, pulling her underwear to her knees “They’re all gone,” and all the gentleness is gone, forcing her to turn around and brace herself on the table “it’s just us.” the sound of the zipper is all she hears after that, she doesn’t need to imagine what’s happening when she feels something blunt and wide presses inside of her. “Like we always wanted.”
She can feel the zipper dig into her skin when he bottoms out, sharp finger nails digging into her shoulders. His hand threads through her hair, pulling her back towards him, “Did you miss me?” and it almost sounds like he’s growling, she can feel his teeth digging into the back of her neck, breaking the skin “Tell me.”
“I did,” the blood feels warm sliding down her neck, his hand loosening in her hair “missed you.” She feels like she’s betraying herself, all those years in college getting over this and she lets him take back over again in a matter of seconds. His hand slides up on her waist and pull her back on his cock, running his free hand between them, brushing her clit.
His mouth his back on her neck, and she can feel him smile against her skin when she gasps, hips trying to rock against his hand. “Say my name,” he says and his hand grips her hips tight stilling her movements “now Anna.”
“Lucifer,” and she doesn’t even realize she’s said it, “Lucifer.” but it sounds right, it feels right. His hand starts moving again just as quickly as she’d spoken the words and she’s stretching wide around him, rolling her hips against his fingers.
“I’m coming back,” but the only sound she hears is the sound of his skin slapping against hers, clenching tight around him “all of me.” She can feel him spilling inside of her, hand working rapidly over her clit until she cries out, hands grasping for purchase at the counter.
It’s the first time she hears the voice and it sings out, clear as day ‘Dean Winchester has been saved’, and she echos the words “Dean Winchester has been saved,” he pulls out of her roughly and her back is shoved against the table “he has been saved.” she says again.
His eyes flash black and a hand wraps tight around her throat “Then I’ll be back sooner than I thought,” he smiles, and his eyes don’t frighten her like they should “soon.” David backs away from her, and his head swings upward, black smoke pouring from his mouth and his body drops to the floor like dead weight.
She stays pressed against the table, staring down at the unmoving body on the floor, for the first time in seventeen years, she screams like she should.
September 18th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio: Conner Beverley Behavioral Medicine Center, Ward 42
“What’s wrong with her?” Richard asks the doctor, eyes peering through the window into her room, “She was fine just yesterday.”
“It could be anything, a trigger that caused her to revert back into her childhood issues,” Dr. Mapps says, “It appears to be similar to the way she was acting when she was a child, hearing voices, fearing something that isn’t there.”
“But she isn’t saying anything about her father anymore, something about--”
“Dean Winchester,” she nods “she’s told me about him, that they talk about him often.”
“They, who?” Amy asks, hand gripping her husbands tight.
“The angels,” the doctor answers, moving towards the window to look in at Anna “she says the angel’s are talking about him.”
----
She sees them outside, looking up at room as though they can see her from all the way up-- their faces distorted and wrong, so wrong.
November 13th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio: Conner Beverley Behavioral Medicine Center, Ward 42
Her parents don’t visit her for over a month, she doesn’t know if they’re ignoring her or if they’re ashamed, but the more the angels talk, the less she cares.
“Demons?”
“Yes, they’re working with Lilith.”
“Do you know why they are, have they said anything else?”
“They’ve been talking more,” Anna says “about the seals.”
“The seals? The things Lilith is breaking?”
“Yes, but there are many, she only needs to break 66 and Lucifer will rise.”
“Why? Why will he rise after they break?”
“Because it is written.” she doesn’t say anything the rest of the day, scribbling in a book and listening to the voices.
The doctor leaves and the orderly comes in, pushing in a cart before working at the sheets, Anna doesn’t look at him until it’s too late, until he’s too close. “What happened to your face?” and she can hear her own voice breaking.
“I know” he grins, “I’m downright kissable.” when his eyes go black all she can think about is David and Lucifer, and she’s so angry-- she isn’t sure how it happens but he’s throw back into the wall, and she doesn’t look back when runs out the door.
----
She though about going home, but she wasn’t sure who would be there so she kept running until she made it to the church, she’d have clothes in her father’s office, she’d be home.
When the burst through the door she doesn’t know who she’s expecting, more demons, her parents, police? She hears the name and wants to cry, “Dean? The Dean?”
He looks just as confused as she does when she tries to explain, how she’s heard about him, and his brother Sam, and all they’re going to do. “I feel like I already know you,“ she smiles, but when it comes in she realizes that this is really them, the one who was going to save them all, and his brother, who shared a bed with a demon. She runs and both Dean and Sam assure her that she’s hear to help, that Ruby as if these things needed names, was going to help her get away.
She’s not sure what happens to them then, Ruby takes her to a hotel across town and smokes out of her meat suit just like Lucifer did months ago, she waits until she’s sure that the demons gone before she sleeps. It’s short lived when the black smoke floods the room and envelopes the body again, life springing behind the girls eyes.
“We have to go,” she says “now.” Anna knows what she is, and she should’ve run, done something, but she just follows Ruby to her car, and lets her take the lead.
When the make it to the cabin Sam and Dean come rushing in seconds later, she can hear them talking when the put her in the backroom. Angels are here, the angels she’s been hearing in her head for so long, and they’re fighting with Dean, the one they’re supposed to protect, Castiel and she feels like she should know who he is. She doesn’t even think about it, doesn’t even know where it comes from but she cuts her wrists and writes on the mirror seals that remind her of what the angel’s used to talk about, light flashes on the other side of the door and she knows everything is going to be okay. Dean comes rushing through the door and asks what she did, eyes mapping the blood pooling on the floor, the truth is she didn’t know, couldn’t explain it.
November 15th, 2008 - Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota // Northern Kentucky
Pamela say’s she’ll do anything to stick it to the angels, they took her sight, or rather Castiel did. So she wonders how she feels when they find out she’s an angel of the lord herself, that she used to have reign over Uriel and Castiel.
“You think you know where my grace fell?” and she watches Sam ruffle through books and ask Bobby for newspapers.
“I think we can,” Dean assures her, hand on her shoulder “Sam will find it.” She can tell that the rest of the gang doesn’t really want to participate, that she’s going to be the catalyst that brings down the wrath of both Heaven and Hell on them, she was going to be the end of them.
----
Her grace wasn’t there, it was gone. She should’ve been expecting it, as if it would go untouched for so long. She can hear Ruby talking to Sam, telling him that now that the grace isn’t where it supposed to be they’re even more vulnerable, more at risk, and Anna can’t bring herself to argue.
November 18th, 2008 - Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota
Dean’s standing near the car when she approaches him, fear evident on his face, worry, aging him far too quickly, eyes jumping from the book to her face “Hey,” and his voice sounds miles away, but she just smiles “holding up okay?”
“Trying,” she moves to stand in front of him, “A little scared I guess…Dean?” he looks up at her quickly and she smiles again “I just wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything,” she says “You didn’t have to help me.”
“Let’s can the ‘thanks for trying’ speech, participation trophies suck ass.”
She laughs, “I dunno, maybe I don’t deserve to be saved.” she says, watching the way his fingers pull at the pages, twisting them back and forth.
“Don’t talk like that.” Dean says quickly, book tossed to the side and all but forgotten, “I disobeyed,” she answers grimly “just like Lucifer, it’s our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I gotta pay.”
“Yeah well…we’ve all done things we gotta pay for.” he whispers.
“I have to tell you something, you’re not going to like it,” it grabs his attention, eyes fixated on her “I heard the angels talking. About you. About what you did in Hell, Dean, I know.” and Dean looks away quickly, as if the words burned him, when she reaches up to touch him he flinches and jumps away. “It wasn’t your fault,” she says “You should forgive yourself.”
“Anna, I don’t wanna…” he tries “I can’t talk about that.”
“I know,” she whispers “but when you can? You have people that want to help. You’re not alone, that’s all I’m trying to say.” When she stands she brushes her lips against his resisting the urge to laugh at his shocked expression.
“What was that for?” he mumbles, eyes still half lidded.
“You know, our last night on Earth. All that stuff.”
“You’re stealing my best line.” he laughs and leans in to kiss her again, and she puts her hand against the burn Castiel left, almost warm under her touch, and then it’s almost a blur to her, and it feels like nothing she’s ever done before. Dean’s got the Impala door open and lets her slide up the seat until he’s able to move on top of her, hands working at the buttons on her shirt, “Sorry this isn’t exactly the Ritz.” he laughs, her mouth connects with his again and she reaches up to help pull his shirt off “It’s perfect, Dean.”
It’s slow and smooth and she barley notices when he pulls her pants off, soft lips trailing down her stomach, something so new. His mouth is back on hers, and her hand is tangling in his hair, and she thinks it’s the first time she’s felt comfortable during sex, it didn’t feel like this in Heaven, not even with Lucifer.
His teeth are nipping at her neck, grazing over spots that used to be reigned with bruises and cuts, images of her past and she can’t help but give into the softness of his kisses, and eventually the gentleness of his movements when he wraps an arm around her thigh and pushes in to the hilt, his mouth swallowing her moan.
It feels too soon but she’s clench around him and his hands are pressing against the door of the Impala, thrusting fasting into her, “Anna,” he groans, face hovering over hers “God.” She wraps her hands around his neck and holds him close, not letting him go as he rides out his orgasm, rocking his hips against hers, she whispers his name one last time, and it sounds like a prayer.
When they come inside Anna can feel Sam’s eyes on her, Ruby watching her intently as Dean and Bobby talk. It‘s been quiet for most of the day, like they were blocking her out and then it streams through in a loop ’Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or we hurl him back to damnation‘. Dean must‘ve noticed her discomfort because when she tells them they’re talking again, he doesn’t look surprised.
“They're talking again.” she says, and everyone looks her way.
“It‘s like a loop,” she says “Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or,”
“Or what?”
“…Or, we hurl him back to damnation.”
She knows that he’ll pick her over Hell, that he won’t let her be taken unless he’s given no other choice, unless they threaten his family.
She’s not sure what happens in the night, but when she sees Dean later that night, just before midnight he looks like he’s broken all over again, like he’s never left Hell, and Anna knows it’s partly her fault. They’re in the barn when Uriel and Castiel come back, and Uriel is gloating with her grace wrapped around his neck, and the shock registering on Sam’s face doesn’t seem real, “It’s okay” she says “I forgive you.” She kisses him, face distorted and broken, lost.
The demons come in like clockwork and she watches Castiel nearly fall at the hands of Alastair, the demon who’d tormented Dean personally during his time in Hell. She’s not surprised when Dean tries to protect him, tries to fight back but he can’t stop him, they can’t stop him. Uriel is distracted while he’s fighting, to busy gloating and smiting to notice Anna coming towards him, to stop Anna from ripping her grace from his neck.
Blue and white swirl around her and she can feel it ripping at her human body, “Close your eyes,” she says “close your eyes!” She’s not sure what happens to them then, grace slipping back inside of her soul and ripping at her human vessel, it goes black and she’s gone, there isn’t much she can do without a body.
She can imagine though, the distasteful look on Uriel’s face when he has to answer to his superiors about losing her grace.
March 19th, 2009
He’s calling to her, begging her to come out, and she doesn’t know if he simply wants to talk, or if he’s just following orders, he looks like he’s breaking, like he’s giving up, and she won’t deny him now. “Decided to me after all?” she asks, flickering lights slowly straightening out.
“I’m alone,” he answers quickly “What do you want from me Castiel?”
“I’m considering disobedience.”
“Good.”
“No, it isn’t” his voice is rough and he looks upset “For the first time, I feel--”
“It’ll only get worse,” she says “choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying.” Her hand brushes up against her shoulder and he looks away, afraid, ashamed, lost. She pulls back in anger, moving away from him “That’s right. You’re too good for my help,” she growls “I’m just trash. A walking blasphemy.”
She’s walking away when he calls out to her again, “Anna.” and she stops, she shouldn’t but she does “I don’t’ know what to do. Please tell me what to do.”
She just smiles, watching his resolve break behind his eyes “Like the old days?” she asks, watching him from the distance “No. I’m sorry, it’s time you think for yourself.”
She’s gone before he can say anything else, he was willing to kill her on God’s order, to send Dean back to Hell, to follow so quickly, and she wasn’t willing to be his God, not this time.
fin.
All because of you
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
no, not the kind with halos;
the kind that bring you home
when home becomes a strange place.
Author:
hysteriaRating: NC-17
Pairing: Lucifer/Anna, OMC/Anna, Dean/Anna, Castiel/Anna, Richard Milton, Amy Milton, Sam Winchester, Ruby, Uriel, Pamela
Word Count: 3,167
Warnings: Dub/Non-Con, Extreme Underage, DarkDark Themes [Non-Graphic until Part 2], Part 2 is Un-beta'd (if you'd like to beta, drop a line yo~)
Summary: [AU? Sort of, It’s uh, complicated.] Lucifer has always been around, even if he can’t be in his true form, just like Anna.
Disclaimer: Don’t own Supernatural, or the characters.
Author’s Note: Written for a plot bunny by
morlockiness and it got way, way out of hand. Back story is completely fictional and made-up because Kripke never alludes to anything. The only thing I know for sure is that she was born in 1985 (because there is some serious math fail on her real birthday i'm going with April 13th) and she's from Northwest Ohio, rest is fanfiction. Also: all of this speculation at the end/middle is just that, I have no idea about how Lucifer is/was/will be. So, in current time line her body is 24 years of age as of this year according to canon. I also didn't follow the dialogue exactly to the 'T' from the episodes following Anna's reveal, I have time on my hands but not enough to go through every line of script, bare with me.Back to Part 1
September 18th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio
He’s not in her bed when she wakes up, there’s blood caked around her neck and in her hair-- blending with the dark sheets, ‘You’ll remember me, what we were, what we had.’ she isn’t surprised she can’t make it to the bathroom, coating the carpet with bile, she’d cry it if weren’t so ironic.
It’s nearly seven in the morning and her parents aren’t awake, the entire house is so quiet you could hear a pin drop; but thing is it’s Thursday morning and her father is supposed to be getting up already, he’s supposed to be going to work. She doesn’t clean up, moving around the spot on the carpet, she drags herself to the door and slips on a robe over her ruined clothes, pulling it tightly to her bloodied neck.
She sees the note before she makes it to the table, white paper contrasting on the wooden oak:
Your mother and I left early to church; Dave has to leave later today, be sure to see him off.
-Dad
She considered what exactly she thought she was going to find when she made her way down the stairs this morning, dead bodies? She doesn’t really think about it, because there’s an unmistakable sound from the upstairs, the old floor in the guest bedroom creaking, followed by padded footsteps making their way down the stairs. Her body is tense and she wants to lie; say she needs to do something for school today, meet her parents at church, anything. Though by the time he’s down the steps standing in front of the kitchen doorway she’s crumpling the paper up in her hand and the words have died in her throat, watching the smile tug at his lips like she’d seen so many times before.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Not long,” she whispers, watching the way his teeth tug at his lips when he’s watching her, like he’s waiting for her to try something “ten minutes.”
“Why did you wake me?” she’d back up to the table if she wasn’t already perched against it “I could’ve kept you company, like old times.” He moves so close so quickly she doesn’t even register his breath on her cheek until she feels his lips “I remember how you hated being alone, when you were young.”
“I liked being alone,” it slips out before she thinks about the consequences “I just--”
“Not then,” he mumbles, soft hands on her hips “before, before all this.” He bites at her skin until her hand warps around his neck, willing him down further “When you loved me,” she could barely hear him when he’d reached above her breasts, licking at the bruises he’d left the night before “when we had our grace.”
She’d ask what he’s talking about, if she thought he’d actually give an answer “Dad’ll be--”
“Gone.” he says, his hands pull at her shirt until it’s slips off her head, pulling her underwear to her knees “They’re all gone,” and all the gentleness is gone, forcing her to turn around and brace herself on the table “it’s just us.” the sound of the zipper is all she hears after that, she doesn’t need to imagine what’s happening when she feels something blunt and wide presses inside of her. “Like we always wanted.”
She can feel the zipper dig into her skin when he bottoms out, sharp finger nails digging into her shoulders. His hand threads through her hair, pulling her back towards him, “Did you miss me?” and it almost sounds like he’s growling, she can feel his teeth digging into the back of her neck, breaking the skin “Tell me.”
“I did,” the blood feels warm sliding down her neck, his hand loosening in her hair “missed you.” She feels like she’s betraying herself, all those years in college getting over this and she lets him take back over again in a matter of seconds. His hand slides up on her waist and pull her back on his cock, running his free hand between them, brushing her clit.
His mouth his back on her neck, and she can feel him smile against her skin when she gasps, hips trying to rock against his hand. “Say my name,” he says and his hand grips her hips tight stilling her movements “now Anna.”
“Lucifer,” and she doesn’t even realize she’s said it, “Lucifer.” but it sounds right, it feels right. His hand starts moving again just as quickly as she’d spoken the words and she’s stretching wide around him, rolling her hips against his fingers.
“I’m coming back,” but the only sound she hears is the sound of his skin slapping against hers, clenching tight around him “all of me.” She can feel him spilling inside of her, hand working rapidly over her clit until she cries out, hands grasping for purchase at the counter.
It’s the first time she hears the voice and it sings out, clear as day ‘Dean Winchester has been saved’, and she echos the words “Dean Winchester has been saved,” he pulls out of her roughly and her back is shoved against the table “he has been saved.” she says again.
His eyes flash black and a hand wraps tight around her throat “Then I’ll be back sooner than I thought,” he smiles, and his eyes don’t frighten her like they should “soon.” David backs away from her, and his head swings upward, black smoke pouring from his mouth and his body drops to the floor like dead weight.
She stays pressed against the table, staring down at the unmoving body on the floor, for the first time in seventeen years, she screams like she should.
September 18th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio: Conner Beverley Behavioral Medicine Center, Ward 42
“What’s wrong with her?” Richard asks the doctor, eyes peering through the window into her room, “She was fine just yesterday.”
“It could be anything, a trigger that caused her to revert back into her childhood issues,” Dr. Mapps says, “It appears to be similar to the way she was acting when she was a child, hearing voices, fearing something that isn’t there.”
“But she isn’t saying anything about her father anymore, something about--”
“Dean Winchester,” she nods “she’s told me about him, that they talk about him often.”
“They, who?” Amy asks, hand gripping her husbands tight.
“The angels,” the doctor answers, moving towards the window to look in at Anna “she says the angel’s are talking about him.”
----
She sees them outside, looking up at room as though they can see her from all the way up-- their faces distorted and wrong, so wrong.
November 13th, 2008 - Toledo, Ohio: Conner Beverley Behavioral Medicine Center, Ward 42
Her parents don’t visit her for over a month, she doesn’t know if they’re ignoring her or if they’re ashamed, but the more the angels talk, the less she cares.
“Demons?”
“Yes, they’re working with Lilith.”
“Do you know why they are, have they said anything else?”
“They’ve been talking more,” Anna says “about the seals.”
“The seals? The things Lilith is breaking?”
“Yes, but there are many, she only needs to break 66 and Lucifer will rise.”
“Why? Why will he rise after they break?”
“Because it is written.” she doesn’t say anything the rest of the day, scribbling in a book and listening to the voices.
The doctor leaves and the orderly comes in, pushing in a cart before working at the sheets, Anna doesn’t look at him until it’s too late, until he’s too close. “What happened to your face?” and she can hear her own voice breaking.
“I know” he grins, “I’m downright kissable.” when his eyes go black all she can think about is David and Lucifer, and she’s so angry-- she isn’t sure how it happens but he’s throw back into the wall, and she doesn’t look back when runs out the door.
----
She though about going home, but she wasn’t sure who would be there so she kept running until she made it to the church, she’d have clothes in her father’s office, she’d be home.
When the burst through the door she doesn’t know who she’s expecting, more demons, her parents, police? She hears the name and wants to cry, “Dean? The Dean?”
He looks just as confused as she does when she tries to explain, how she’s heard about him, and his brother Sam, and all they’re going to do. “I feel like I already know you,“ she smiles, but when it comes in she realizes that this is really them, the one who was going to save them all, and his brother, who shared a bed with a demon. She runs and both Dean and Sam assure her that she’s hear to help, that Ruby as if these things needed names, was going to help her get away.
She’s not sure what happens to them then, Ruby takes her to a hotel across town and smokes out of her meat suit just like Lucifer did months ago, she waits until she’s sure that the demons gone before she sleeps. It’s short lived when the black smoke floods the room and envelopes the body again, life springing behind the girls eyes.
“We have to go,” she says “now.” Anna knows what she is, and she should’ve run, done something, but she just follows Ruby to her car, and lets her take the lead.
When the make it to the cabin Sam and Dean come rushing in seconds later, she can hear them talking when the put her in the backroom. Angels are here, the angels she’s been hearing in her head for so long, and they’re fighting with Dean, the one they’re supposed to protect, Castiel and she feels like she should know who he is. She doesn’t even think about it, doesn’t even know where it comes from but she cuts her wrists and writes on the mirror seals that remind her of what the angel’s used to talk about, light flashes on the other side of the door and she knows everything is going to be okay. Dean comes rushing through the door and asks what she did, eyes mapping the blood pooling on the floor, the truth is she didn’t know, couldn’t explain it.
November 15th, 2008 - Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota // Northern Kentucky
Pamela say’s she’ll do anything to stick it to the angels, they took her sight, or rather Castiel did. So she wonders how she feels when they find out she’s an angel of the lord herself, that she used to have reign over Uriel and Castiel.
“You think you know where my grace fell?” and she watches Sam ruffle through books and ask Bobby for newspapers.
“I think we can,” Dean assures her, hand on her shoulder “Sam will find it.” She can tell that the rest of the gang doesn’t really want to participate, that she’s going to be the catalyst that brings down the wrath of both Heaven and Hell on them, she was going to be the end of them.
----
Her grace wasn’t there, it was gone. She should’ve been expecting it, as if it would go untouched for so long. She can hear Ruby talking to Sam, telling him that now that the grace isn’t where it supposed to be they’re even more vulnerable, more at risk, and Anna can’t bring herself to argue.
November 18th, 2008 - Singer’s Salvage Yard, South Dakota
Dean’s standing near the car when she approaches him, fear evident on his face, worry, aging him far too quickly, eyes jumping from the book to her face “Hey,” and his voice sounds miles away, but she just smiles “holding up okay?”
“Trying,” she moves to stand in front of him, “A little scared I guess…Dean?” he looks up at her quickly and she smiles again “I just wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything,” she says “You didn’t have to help me.”
“Let’s can the ‘thanks for trying’ speech, participation trophies suck ass.”
She laughs, “I dunno, maybe I don’t deserve to be saved.” she says, watching the way his fingers pull at the pages, twisting them back and forth.
“Don’t talk like that.” Dean says quickly, book tossed to the side and all but forgotten, “I disobeyed,” she answers grimly “just like Lucifer, it’s our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I gotta pay.”
“Yeah well…we’ve all done things we gotta pay for.” he whispers.
“I have to tell you something, you’re not going to like it,” it grabs his attention, eyes fixated on her “I heard the angels talking. About you. About what you did in Hell, Dean, I know.” and Dean looks away quickly, as if the words burned him, when she reaches up to touch him he flinches and jumps away. “It wasn’t your fault,” she says “You should forgive yourself.”
“Anna, I don’t wanna…” he tries “I can’t talk about that.”
“I know,” she whispers “but when you can? You have people that want to help. You’re not alone, that’s all I’m trying to say.” When she stands she brushes her lips against his resisting the urge to laugh at his shocked expression.
“What was that for?” he mumbles, eyes still half lidded.
“You know, our last night on Earth. All that stuff.”
“You’re stealing my best line.” he laughs and leans in to kiss her again, and she puts her hand against the burn Castiel left, almost warm under her touch, and then it’s almost a blur to her, and it feels like nothing she’s ever done before. Dean’s got the Impala door open and lets her slide up the seat until he’s able to move on top of her, hands working at the buttons on her shirt, “Sorry this isn’t exactly the Ritz.” he laughs, her mouth connects with his again and she reaches up to help pull his shirt off “It’s perfect, Dean.”
It’s slow and smooth and she barley notices when he pulls her pants off, soft lips trailing down her stomach, something so new. His mouth is back on hers, and her hand is tangling in his hair, and she thinks it’s the first time she’s felt comfortable during sex, it didn’t feel like this in Heaven, not even with Lucifer.
His teeth are nipping at her neck, grazing over spots that used to be reigned with bruises and cuts, images of her past and she can’t help but give into the softness of his kisses, and eventually the gentleness of his movements when he wraps an arm around her thigh and pushes in to the hilt, his mouth swallowing her moan.
It feels too soon but she’s clench around him and his hands are pressing against the door of the Impala, thrusting fasting into her, “Anna,” he groans, face hovering over hers “God.” She wraps her hands around his neck and holds him close, not letting him go as he rides out his orgasm, rocking his hips against hers, she whispers his name one last time, and it sounds like a prayer.
When they come inside Anna can feel Sam’s eyes on her, Ruby watching her intently as Dean and Bobby talk. It‘s been quiet for most of the day, like they were blocking her out and then it streams through in a loop ’Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or we hurl him back to damnation‘. Dean must‘ve noticed her discomfort because when she tells them they’re talking again, he doesn’t look surprised.
“They're talking again.” she says, and everyone looks her way.
“It‘s like a loop,” she says “Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or,”
“Or what?”
“…Or, we hurl him back to damnation.”
She knows that he’ll pick her over Hell, that he won’t let her be taken unless he’s given no other choice, unless they threaten his family.
She’s not sure what happens in the night, but when she sees Dean later that night, just before midnight he looks like he’s broken all over again, like he’s never left Hell, and Anna knows it’s partly her fault. They’re in the barn when Uriel and Castiel come back, and Uriel is gloating with her grace wrapped around his neck, and the shock registering on Sam’s face doesn’t seem real, “It’s okay” she says “I forgive you.” She kisses him, face distorted and broken, lost.
The demons come in like clockwork and she watches Castiel nearly fall at the hands of Alastair, the demon who’d tormented Dean personally during his time in Hell. She’s not surprised when Dean tries to protect him, tries to fight back but he can’t stop him, they can’t stop him. Uriel is distracted while he’s fighting, to busy gloating and smiting to notice Anna coming towards him, to stop Anna from ripping her grace from his neck.
Blue and white swirl around her and she can feel it ripping at her human body, “Close your eyes,” she says “close your eyes!” She’s not sure what happens to them then, grace slipping back inside of her soul and ripping at her human vessel, it goes black and she’s gone, there isn’t much she can do without a body.
She can imagine though, the distasteful look on Uriel’s face when he has to answer to his superiors about losing her grace.
March 19th, 2009
He’s calling to her, begging her to come out, and she doesn’t know if he simply wants to talk, or if he’s just following orders, he looks like he’s breaking, like he’s giving up, and she won’t deny him now. “Decided to me after all?” she asks, flickering lights slowly straightening out.
“I’m alone,” he answers quickly “What do you want from me Castiel?”
“I’m considering disobedience.”
“Good.”
“No, it isn’t” his voice is rough and he looks upset “For the first time, I feel--”
“It’ll only get worse,” she says “choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying.” Her hand brushes up against her shoulder and he looks away, afraid, ashamed, lost. She pulls back in anger, moving away from him “That’s right. You’re too good for my help,” she growls “I’m just trash. A walking blasphemy.”
She’s walking away when he calls out to her again, “Anna.” and she stops, she shouldn’t but she does “I don’t’ know what to do. Please tell me what to do.”
She just smiles, watching his resolve break behind his eyes “Like the old days?” she asks, watching him from the distance “No. I’m sorry, it’s time you think for yourself.”
She’s gone before he can say anything else, he was willing to kill her on God’s order, to send Dean back to Hell, to follow so quickly, and she wasn’t willing to be his God, not this time.
fin.
All because of you
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
no, not the kind with halos;
the kind that bring you home
when home becomes a strange place.
Tags:
- !fanfiction,
- character: amy milton,
- character: richard milton,
- character: ruby,
- character: sam winchester,
- character: uriel,
- kink: dub-con,
- kink: non-con,
- kink: underage,
- pairing: castiel/anna,
- pairing: dean/anna,
- pairing: lucifer/anna,
- pairing: omc/anna,
- tv: supernatural,
- wip: tastes like nostalgia
